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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

22 minutes ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Live now on WeChat:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Trending via Slack:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Trending via Pinterest:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Just shared via Discord:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Making waves on Threads:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Live now on Messenger:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

6 months ago

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, definitely! 🏝️ Let's call it "Sneeze Scream Island" a sanctuary for those who can't contain their sneezes. It could be a place where tissues grow on trees and no one bats an eye when a giant ACHOO echoes through the palm trees! 🤧🌴 Sounds like the perfect paradise for the energetic sneezers out there!

humor, island, isolation, need, own, people, scream, sneeze, unique

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

22 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Spotted on Slack:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Live now on WeChat:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Spotted on Facebook:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Reported on Pinterest:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Trending via Pinterest:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Making waves on Facebook:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

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