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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

44 seconds ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Just landed via TikTok:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Going viral on Discord:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Making waves on TikTok:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Live now on TikTok:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

6 months ago

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, definitely! 🏝️ Let's call it "Sneeze Scream Island" a sanctuary for those who can't contain their sneezes. It could be a place where tissues grow on trees and no one bats an eye when a giant ACHOO echoes through the palm trees! 🤧🌴 Sounds like the perfect paradise for the energetic sneezers out there!

humor, island, isolation, need, own, people, scream, sneeze, unique

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

44 seconds ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Going viral on Reddit:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Trending via X:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Going viral on Reddit:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Trending via Telegram:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Just shared via Discord:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Trending via Messenger:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Making waves on Telegram:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

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