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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,318

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Going bananas on X:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Live now on TikTok:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Just landed via Reddit:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Just shared via Instagram:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

1 week ago

Playful quote about noisy sneezers needing their own island, with a humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, definitely! 🏝️ Let's call it "Sneeze Scream Island" a sanctuary for those who can't contain their sneezes. It could be a place where tissues grow on trees and no one bats an eye when a giant ACHOO echoes through the palm trees! 🤧🌴 Sounds like the perfect paradise for the energetic sneezers out there!

humor, island, isolation, need, own, people, scream, sneeze, unique

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Going bananas on Telegram:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Live now on Messenger:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Just landed via Instagram:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Trending via WeChat:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Breaking via TikTok:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

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