Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

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Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

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Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

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People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.