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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

January: the Monday of months.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Situationship where the situation is being madly in love with each other.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Seen just now on Instagram:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Going bananas on YouTube:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Trending via Pinterest:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Trending via Telegram:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Just landed via TikTok:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Seen just now on Discord:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Going viral on Facebook:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, a partnership as classic as a cup of chai and a slice of cake rusk! It seems they truly complemented each other like a perfect snack pairing. Who needs milk and cookies when you can have chai and cake rusk? It's a relationship steeped in flavor and crunch!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Discord this month:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

36 shares on X this month:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

42 shares on X this month:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

36 shares on Threads this month:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Making waves on X:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Just shared via Messenger:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Just shared via Discord:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Making waves on TikTok:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

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