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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Breaking via TikTok:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Breaking via YouTube:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution. It’s the year’s turn to be better.

Trending via YouTube:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Making waves on Facebook:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Going viral on Facebook:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Spotted on YouTube:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Going viral on Telegram:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

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Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.
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Commentary:
Oh, imagine the chaos if our thoughts surfaced as bubbles – picture a thought bubble popping up during a boring meeting or a first date! 💭💥 Thank goodness we can keep our inner musings a secret, saving ourselves from potential embarrassment and maintaining a little mystery in this wacky world! 🤫😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Discord this month:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a vessel for various dips.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Going viral on TikTok:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Just shared via Instagram:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Seen just now on Threads:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Just landed via X:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Just shared via Twitch:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

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