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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Spotted on Discord:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Going bananas on X:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Just landed via Telegram:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Just landed via TikTok:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Just shared via Facebook:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Live now on Pinterest:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

2 months ago

0

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, imagine the chaos if our thoughts surfaced as bubbles – picture a thought bubble popping up during a boring meeting or a first date! 💭💥 Thank goodness we can keep our inner musings a secret, saving ourselves from potential embarrassment and maintaining a little mystery in this wacky world! 🤫😅

appear, bubble, expression, grateful, gratitude, heads, humor, inner, inner thought, mind, over, sometimes, thought, thoughts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

0

2 months ago

animals, God, humor, know, much, pets, secrets, talk, thank, thank God, too
Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

0

2 months ago

animals, coincidence, companionship, everyone, humor, love, pets, talk
Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

0

2 months ago

comedy, detox, digital, digital detox, enough, frustration, humor, internet, internet joke, joke, online, sarcasm, stupid, time, week
Aura is the real business card.

0

2 months ago

aura, business, business card, card, confidence, first impression, impression, personality, professionalism, real
Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

0

5 months ago

apology, here, humor, just, laziness, nap, relationship, single, stay, taking
Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

0

2 months ago

flirtation, girl, humor, i, line, mixed, myself, pick-up, pick-up line, signals

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

48 shares on Threads this month:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

16 shares on X this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,994

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Just shared via WeChat:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Seen just now on Discord:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Going viral on Twitch:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Shared recently on Discord:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Going bananas on Reddit:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

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