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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

46 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Reported on Discord:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Seen just now on Telegram:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Trending via Reddit:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Just shared via Instagram:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Making waves on Reddit:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Just shared via Slack:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Seen just now on Facebook:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

6 months ago

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

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Commentary:
Oh, imagine the chaos if our thoughts surfaced as bubbles – picture a thought bubble popping up during a boring meeting or a first date! 💭💥 Thank goodness we can keep our inner musings a secret, saving ourselves from potential embarrassment and maintaining a little mystery in this wacky world! 🤫😅

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

46 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Making waves on Discord:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Making waves on Reddit:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Spotted on YouTube:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Spotted on Messenger:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Just landed via Pinterest:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Going viral on Twitch:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

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