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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Going viral on TikTok:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Just landed via Facebook:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Breaking via TikTok:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Spotted on Facebook:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Just landed via WeChat:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Trending via X:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

2 weeks ago

Witty text expressing relief that thoughts don't float above our heads as bubbles.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, imagine the chaos if our thoughts surfaced as bubbles – picture a thought bubble popping up during a boring meeting or a first date! 💭💥 Thank goodness we can keep our inner musings a secret, saving ourselves from potential embarrassment and maintaining a little mystery in this wacky world! 🤫😅

appear, bubble, expression, grateful, gratitude, heads, humor, inner, inner thought, mind, over, sometimes, thought, thoughts

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

40 shares on X this month:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

47 shares on Slack this month:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

68 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

81 shares on Threads this month:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Trending via Discord:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Going viral on Slack:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Just shared via WeChat:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Just shared via Discord:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

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