Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.