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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has shared:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has viewed:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via WhatsApp:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Trending via TikTok:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Going viral on Snapchat:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Trending via WeChat:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

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Commentary:
"Spiders out here living their best eight-legged lives, yet they still choose to crash at your place like distant relatives who never got the invite memo πŸ•ΈοΈπŸ  #HouseCrashers"

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

24 shares on X this month:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

14 shares on Threads this month:

If I ask β€œWhat’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

50 shares on Discord this month:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When the Olympics finally introduces the event β€œDropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hope this email finds you in a well.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

β€œWhy would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has shared:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has copied:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Discord:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Making waves on X:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say β€œhello, please fill out these forms!”

Seen just now on Slack:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Spotted on Telegram:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Making waves on Messenger:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

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