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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Trending via YouTube:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Broadcasted on Slack:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Spotted on Reddit:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Going viral on Messenger:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Going viral on YouTube:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Making waves on Instagram:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

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Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.
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Commentary:
"Stop playing the blame game with everyone and their grandma! 🙄 Instead, channel your inner drama llama and pick that one special person you absolutely love to hate and let the blame fest begin! Just remember, it's all fun and games until karma shows up for a tea party! ☕️😏"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on X this month:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

78 shares on X this month:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

38 shares on X this month:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

62 shares on Slack this month:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

61 shares on Reddit this month:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hawk o the mornin tuah

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Making waves on Instagram:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Seen just now on Slack:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Breaking via Slack:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Trending via Twitch:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Shared recently on Discord:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Trending via TikTok:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

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