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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

5 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Trending via TikTok:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Going viral on TikTok:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Breaking via Discord:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Spotted on Discord:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Just shared via TikTok:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Strict parents raise good liars.

Jan 21, 2025

Strict parents raise good liars.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of deception perfected under the watchful eye of strict parents! 🕵️‍♂️🤥 It's like they're training their kids for a secret agent career in the world of fibs and white lies. 🤫😂 Just remember, honesty is the best policy… unless you're dodging a curfew check!"

childhood, good, good liar, honesty, humor, irony, liar, parent, parenting, parents, strict, strict parent

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

5 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Spotted on Twitch:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Trending via Threads:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Going viral on Reddit:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Just landed via Slack:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Spotted on Twitch:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Making waves on Reddit:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

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