Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

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I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

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Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

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Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

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As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

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If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

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If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

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Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

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Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

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My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

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Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.