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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Spotted on X:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Going bananas on X:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Just shared via Threads:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Going viral on Slack:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

2 months ago

0

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Breaking news: local prankster strikes again, masterfully executing the classic "It's done" text to random numbers! 📱😄 Will the unsuspecting recipients fall for the mystery of the message, or decode the ultimate prank? Stay tuned for the thrilling sequel of "Random Number Roulette: The Sequel"! 🎉 #TextingAntics #MischiefManaged

activity, done, fun, fun activity, joke, miscommunication, number, numbers, prank, random, random number, surprise, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

0

3 months ago

heart, humor, just, light, lights, love, metaphor, right, romantic
Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

0

5 months ago

avoidance, cancel, excuse, honesty, humor, i, just, plans, procrastination, social, social plans, sorry, want
Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

0

2 months ago

eyes, help, humor, let, me, roll, sarcasm, wit
You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

0

2 months ago

affection, gift, humor, humor quote, light-hearted, metaphor, playful, romantic, sensitive, wind
I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

0

2 months ago

adore, change, disappointment, disillusionment, hate, i, just, listening, music, musical, musical taste, personal, personal preference, preference, rapper, shift, taste, used
Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

0

2 months ago

activity, close, concert, experience, fun, fun activity, going, grass, heart, hold, i, live, live performance, music, performance, recommend, song, touching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Discord this month:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

78 shares on X this month:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

40 shares on Telegram this month:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I would prefer not to.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,556

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Going bananas on Discord:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Seen just now on Threads:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Just shared via Slack:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Just landed via WeChat:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Spotted on Messenger:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Going viral on X:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

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