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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Trending via Discord:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Going viral on WeChat:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

2 months ago

0

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Breaking news: local prankster strikes again, masterfully executing the classic "It's done" text to random numbers! 📱😄 Will the unsuspecting recipients fall for the mystery of the message, or decode the ultimate prank? Stay tuned for the thrilling sequel of "Random Number Roulette: The Sequel"! 🎉 #TextingAntics #MischiefManaged

activity, done, fun, fun activity, joke, miscommunication, number, numbers, prank, random, random number, surprise, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

0

2 months ago

course, humor, learn, learning, medical, medical school, name, not taking seriously, patients, school, seriously, take, taking, where
The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

0

2 months ago

best, best part, humor, marriage, partner, relationship, something, stupid, worst, worst part
My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

0

2 months ago

dating, existence, girlfriend, God, humor, humorist, irony, love, me, needs, neglect, only, relationship, sarcasm, something, treats, unrequited, unrequited love
I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

0

3 months ago

chronically, chronically online, different, digital, digital life, humor, internet, internet humor, life, media, online, sarcasm, social, social media, sophisticated, witty
That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

0

2 months ago

binge-watching, blues, crisis, direction, downtime, entertainment, existential, existential crisis, humor, know, life, life direction, lost, moment, post-series, post-series blues, sery, shows, TV, TV sery, watching, watching shows
I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

0

3 months ago

angel, conclusion, guardian, guardian angel, humor, me, possessive, protection

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

57 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,423

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Making waves on Telegram:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Breaking via TikTok:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Going viral on X:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Going viral on Facebook:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Trending via Slack:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

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