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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2525 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,687

Funny Quotes Topics

15,353

Funny Quotes Images

12,687

4 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Trending via WeChat:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Just landed via Messenger:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Just landed via X:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Jan 20, 2025

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

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Commentary:
🚪🔔 Ah, the universal struggle of pretending you're not home when the doorbell rings! It's a masterpiece of stealth and deception worthy of a spy mission. Who knew tip-toeing to the window could earn you a black belt in ninja tactics? Just remember, when in doubt, freeze and hold your breath – maybe they'll think the house is haunted! 👻😂

doorbell, hiding, home, introvert, moment, not home, pretending, rings, sneak, tip, tip toe, toe, visitor, window

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2525 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,687

Funny Quotes Topics

15,353

Funny Quotes Images

12,687

4 minutes ago

3,455

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Going viral on Reddit:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Seen just now on Messenger:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Spotted on Facebook:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Just shared via Pinterest:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Live now on Slack:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

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