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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Making waves on Messenger:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Spotted on Messenger:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Going viral on Discord:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Shared recently on Telegram:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Going viral on TikTok:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Playful quote comparing a heavy hippo to a lighter zippo, with a witty nighttime sign-off.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣😆 What a fantastic observation! Who knew the difference between a hippo and a zippo could be summed up with a weight joke! That's a pun-tastic way to end the evening. Thank you and good night! 🦛🔥 #PunnyHumor

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

42 shares on X this month:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

12 shares on Threads this month:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Just shared via X:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Just shared via Pinterest:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Trending via Snapchat:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Spotted on WeChat:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Trending via Slack:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Just shared via Facebook:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Just landed via Messenger:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

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