Commentary:
Sending thoughts and caffeine ☕💼😂
Funny heavy quotes
Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.
Commentary:
"Helvetica: the only font that rocks harder than my playlist! 🤘🎸🖋️"
I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.
…
Commentary:
"Your honor, I'm not sure who pulled me over… me or the wind! 🌬️⚡️😂"
His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.
Commentary:
Looks like this guy’s palm trees have bigger travel plans than most of us 🌴✈️💼 Perhaps his luggage is heavy because he’s packed everything but the kitchen sink for those Serengeti vibes! 😂🦒 #DestinationWeddingGoals #Eminem
If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.
Commentary:
Looks like karma caught up with your beer choices! 🍻🔮 Next time, make sure you only drink with pure intentions and a clear karmic slate. Cheers to good beer and better karma! 🍺✨ #KarmaBrews
You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.
Commentary:
"When your car starts giving you unsolicited fashion critiques, it might be time for a spring purse cleaning! 🚗👜 #HeavyHandbagProblems #SafetyFirstFashionSecond"
The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.
Commentary:
🤣😆 What a fantastic observation! Who knew the difference between a hippo and a zippo could be summed up with a weight joke! That's a pun-tastic way to end the evening. Thank you and good night! 🦛🔥 #PunnyHumor
Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”
Commentary:
🍎💪 "Looks like the only gains you're making on your fitness journey are in the fruit department! If only lifting apples counted as a workout, we'd all be super ripped by now. Keep strong, apple connoisseur! 🏋️♂️😄"
Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.
Commentary:
Mhm, nodding like a bobblehead while my brain goes on vacation 😂🤷♂️
I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.
Commentary:
Can't wait to see seniors in the rec room rocking out with a gangsta limp and air guitar solos 🎸🕶️👵🎶