Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of transitioning from weekend warrior to weekday workhorse! 😅 It's like trying to jumpstart a car on a Monday morning 🚗💥 Hang in there, the weekend will circle back around eventually! ⏰🙌"

always, days, hardest, humor, Monday, routine, struggle, weekend, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, anger, angry, ban, drunk, father, hunger, hungry, lot, memory, ones, people, stoned, weed
I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

0

2 months ago

aliens, belief, believe, curiosity, extraterrestrial, humor, i, imagination, me, sci-fi
If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

0

2 months ago

award, else, home, homebody, humor, ID, laziness, me, pick, pick-up, procrastination, send, someone, staying, staying at home, win
I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

0

2 months ago

amazing, amazing feeling, back, before, care, feel, feeling, growing, growth, hair, hair growth, humor, i, just, leg, legs, man, minutes, next, personal, personal care, seconds, self-care, shaved, shaved leg, time
Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

0

2 months ago

40s, age, aging, every, humor, Jesus, person, reaction, response, welcome, younger, youth
If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

0

2 months ago

chapstick, coma, ever, humor, lips, put, request, self-care

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

61 shares on X this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

50 shares on Threads this month:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Earth is hard.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Seen just now on Discord:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Making waves on Twitch:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Just shared via Instagram:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Seen just now on Threads:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Shared recently on Discord:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Just shared via Telegram:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨