Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.
  • Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.
  • Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”
  • I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.
  • Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’
  • If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.