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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,284

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Just shared via Twitch:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Making waves on Discord:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Just shared via Instagram:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Just shared via YouTube:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Trending via Discord:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Shared recently on Discord:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

0
The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like he's accidentally treating the bathroom like a photo shoot! 📸 Maybe he's just trying to go for that "caught in the act" aesthetic? 🚽😄 Just a heads-up buddy, it's not the best setting for a surprise photo op! #BathroomBlunders

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Instagram this month:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t hate me, date me!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,621

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Spotted on WeChat:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Trending via Instagram:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Spotted on Messenger:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

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