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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

1 minute ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Going viral on YouTube:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Just shared via WeChat:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Making waves on Threads:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Reported on Discord:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Breaking via Facebook:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

6 months ago

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

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Commentary:
Ah, the horror of being thrown into a social situation against your will! 😱 Brace yourself for awkward small talk and a sea of unfamiliar faces. This is either the start of a great adventure or a comedy of errors waiting to unfold. 🤣 Just remember, you can always fake a sudden urge to use the bathroom as your escape plan! 😉

anxiety, everyone, gathering, horror, introduce, introduction, meetup, pressure, social

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

1 minute ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Just landed via Telegram:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Trending via YouTube:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Live now on Twitch:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Breaking via Reddit:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Live now on Discord:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Going viral on Instagram:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Making waves on X:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

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