Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

291 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,560

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,560

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Live now on Messenger:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Just landed via X:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Live now on YouTube:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Live now on WeChat:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the Anonymous Pessimists were so negative that they didn't even bother showing up to their own meeting! 🤷‍♂️ Can you blame them though? 🙄 Maybe they were just too pessimistic to believe in the potential benefits of getting together. 😅 #NegativeNancy #glasshalffull

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

You are the Monday of my life.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

29 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

291 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,560

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,560

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Going bananas on Discord:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Trending via Messenger:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Going viral on Reddit:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

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