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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has copied:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has downloaded:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Please donโ€™t leave me to my own devices. Theyโ€™re all out of batteries.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Trending via Slack:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Just landed via Discord:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Breaking via Twitch:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Spotted on Twitch:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: itโ€™s the hard way or the harder way.

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

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The new American dream is an alien invasion.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Well, in a world full of student loans and avocado toast, why not shake things up with a little extraterrestrial excitement? ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐ŸŒŒ Who needs picket fences and white picket fences when you can have laser beams and intergalactic adventures? Beam me up to that American dream any day! ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ #ItCameFromOuterSpace

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Social Media Stars โญ

65 shares on X this month:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

80 shares on X this month:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Saw the eye doctor, and thatโ€™s 90% of the vision test right there.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

I donโ€™t dress for women. I donโ€™t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If Spotify has taught me anything, itโ€™s that I donโ€™t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said โ€œThat would be like sitting in a field of french fries.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

โ€œStop talking about old drama!โ€ God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

I donโ€™t wanna party like itโ€™s 1999, I want to pay my bills like itโ€™s 1999.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Pinterest:

My nickname in high school was โ€œwho?โ€

Going viral on Pinterest:

I ainโ€™t typing โ€œXโ€ into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Breaking via Threads:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Making waves on YouTube:

Dance like nobodyโ€™s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Going viral on Discord:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Spotted on Threads:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

ยฉ 2025. All rights reserved.

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