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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

3 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Just shared via Slack:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Spotted on Threads:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

6 months ago

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

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Commentary:
Well, in a world full of student loans and avocado toast, why not shake things up with a little extraterrestrial excitement? 👽🌌 Who needs picket fences and white picket fences when you can have laser beams and intergalactic adventures? Beam me up to that American dream any day! 🚀🇺🇸 #ItCameFromOuterSpace

alien, American, American dream, commentary, dream, humor, invasion, life, modern, modern life, new, satire, societal, societal commentary

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

3 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Breaking via Messenger:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Going viral on TikTok:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Making waves on Twitch:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Just shared via Reddit:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Trending via Threads:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Seen just now on Reddit:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Shared recently on Slack:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

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