The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.