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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Trending via Facebook:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Trending via YouTube:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Live now on Instagram:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Freshly posted on X:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Live now on Slack:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Just shared via Threads:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

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The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.
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Commentary:
"When it comes to family gatherings, I'm like the elusive cousin who's practically a myth now 🤷‍♂️ Maybe my invitation got lost in the mail? Or perhaps I just bring too much excitement to the party that they can't handle? Who knows! 🎉💁‍♂️ #LifeOfTheMissingRelative"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

21 shares on X this month:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

32 shares on Discord this month:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

90 shares on Facebook this month:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Live now on YouTube:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Trending via YouTube:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Making waves on Facebook:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

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