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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Just shared via Reddit:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Just landed via Discord:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Trending via WeChat:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Trending via Discord:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

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The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old secret to success: impeccable timing and a bit of luck! 🌟 Just remember, if you find yourself born at the wrong place or time, don't worry – you'll just have a few extra challenges to keep things interesting! 😉 #LifeIsAJourney"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

98 shares on Messenger this month:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

12 shares on Threads this month:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love men with a provider fetish.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Seen just now on X:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Trending via WeChat:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

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