Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Just shared via X:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Trending via Slack:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Shared recently on Reddit:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Freshly posted on X:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

1 month ago

Witty quote about luck and timing, humorously highlighting life's randomness.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old secret to success: impeccable timing and a bit of luck! 🌟 Just remember, if you find yourself born at the wrong place or time, don't worry – you'll just have a few extra challenges to keep things interesting! 😉 #LifeIsAJourney"

born, mess, place, right, right place, right time, tedious, time, trick

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on X this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

87 shares on X this month:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Making waves on YouTube:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Seen just now on Discord:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Spotted on WeChat:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Just landed via Facebook:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Just landed via Twitch:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Going viral on YouTube:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴