Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Going viral on Facebook:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Shared recently on Telegram:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Breaking via Instagram:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about avoiding civil war due to work commitments and busy schedules.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like avoiding a civil war comes down to practicality, not just fighting spirit! 💼💰 Who has time for battle when there's bills to pay and deadlines to meet? 😂 Let's settle our differences over coffee breaks instead, shall we? ☕️ #OfficeLifeWars"

afford, civil, civil war, economy, humor, much, priorities, take, time, time off, war, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

97 shares on X this month:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

78 shares on Discord this month:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,468

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Trending via Facebook:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Live now on Telegram:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Live now on Instagram:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Seen just now on WeChat:

You are the Monday of my life.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

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