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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Trending via X:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

0
These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like the audience at the laundromat got a free fashion show today! 🩲🤣 Maybe they just couldn't handle all that style and confidence in one place! Just another day of surprises in the spin cycle of life! 🌀#SpeedoSwagger

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Threads this month:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I had too much to think last night.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Trending via Discord:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Live now on WeChat:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

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