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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Seen just now on Slack:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Going viral on YouTube:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Going viral on Reddit:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Breaking via TikTok:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Absolutely! 💪🏻💁🏻‍♂️ "Pilates, where grace meets grit! Don't be fooled by the serene atmosphere and soothing music – behind those cute leg lifts lies the heart of a warrior preparing for battle. It's less about sipping on green smoothies and more about channeling your inner badass! Pilates: not your average tea party for sure!" 😄👊🏻

actually, combat, cute, fitness, girly, humor, perception, Pilates, portray, thing, training

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

93 shares on X this month:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Making waves on Messenger:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Just shared via Reddit:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

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