Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Broadcasted on Threads:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Spotted on Facebook:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Just landed via Instagram:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Just landed via YouTube:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Just landed via Threads:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Making waves on TikTok:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Things I hate about group work: The group.

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Things I hate about group work: The group.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of group work – where sharing ideas turns into a test of patience with the group itself! 🤦‍♂️ It's like herding 🐑 cats, only less adorable. Just remember, teamwork makes the dream work… or at least, that's what we tell ourselves! 😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Threads this month:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

90 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Going viral on Pinterest:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

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