Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.
  • You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.
  • Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.
  • Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.
  • Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.
  • Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.