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Commentary:
Looks like someone's on a mission to outsource their screaming duties to inanimate objects 😂🧸 Who needs therapy when you have a pillow with a built-in scream feature?! 🤪🗣️ #PillowTalk #ScreamQueen

comfort, expression, going, humor, pillow, relatable, scream, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

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2 months ago

activity, date, date idea, drink, funny moment, glass, going, gravy, humor, i, idea, moment, quirky, quirky activity, shared, shared drink, straws, well
I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, am, announcement, fight, humor, irony, proud, sobriety, struggle, winning
If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

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2 months ago

humor, i, joke, money, relationship, sarcasm, start, thinking, thought, time
My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

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2 months ago

age, body, check, check engine light, engine, health, humor, light, maintenance, self-deprecation, year’s
My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

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2 months ago

expectations, family, funny situation, humor, mom, opinions, situation, visiting, weekend
If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

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2 months ago

bear, ever, fight, gummy, hope, humor, i, joke, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Messenger this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

34 shares on Reddit this month:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Spotted on Slack:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Just landed via Telegram:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Live now on WeChat:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Spotted on Discord:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Shared recently on Twitch:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Just landed via Instagram:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Trending via Telegram:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Breaking via TikTok:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨