Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Zero must have been feeling left out before this guy came along! 🤣 Thank goodness he finally got the recognition he deserved! 🙌 #ThanksForNothing"

gratitude, guy, humor, inventor, joke, math, nothing, thanks, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, Friday, frustration, humor, i, independence, introvert, leave, me, please, ran, small, small talk, solitude, talk, Tuesday
Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

0

2 months ago

edge, email, finds, humor, me, sarcasm, unwell, wit
Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

0

2 months ago

bulletproof, bulletproof vest, gun, humor, logic, men, pill, relationship, responsibility, sense, shoot, should, take, vest
My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

0

2 months ago

background, background noise, entertainment, hobby, humor, i, multitasking, noise, phone, scroll, scrolling, TV, using, while
Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

0

2 months ago

carey, celebration, Christmas, conception, everyone, humor, immaculate, immaculate conception, knows, mariah, Mariah Carey
I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

0

2 months ago

awkward, comedy, conversation, dating, flirting, humor, i, relationships, skills, social, social skills, suck

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

89 shares on Discord this month:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

37 shares on Threads this month:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

55 shares on Discord this month:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Just shared via Messenger:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Trending via Slack:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Going viral on YouTube:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Spotted on Threads:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Just landed via Telegram:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨