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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Just landed via Discord:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Just landed via Facebook:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Reported on Twitch:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Spotted on WeChat:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Shared recently on X:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Making waves on Telegram:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Spotted on Slack:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Going viral on Snapchat:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tourist conundrum: striving to stand out while blending in with matching fanny packs and cameras in hand 📸🌍 Always remember, dear traveler, you are a unique tourist… just like everyone else! 😉✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Spotted on Twitch:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Trending via Telegram:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Trending via Slack:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Breaking via Discord:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

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