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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Just landed via Instagram:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Shared recently on X:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Just shared via Facebook:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Just shared via Messenger:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Just shared via X:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about chaotic family vacation with whining and tantrums, playful and humorous vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your family vacation was more of a “tanic” experience than a Titanic one! 🤦‍♂️ It seems like your kids were the real-life drama queens and kings on this trip. Next time, maybe pack some extra patience and earplugs! 😉🌴

complaining, experience, family, family vacation, kids, me, tantrum, terrible, terrible experience, vacation, whining

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Slack this month:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

28 shares on X this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

84 shares on Discord this month:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Spotted on Facebook:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Live now on WeChat:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Just landed via Reddit:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Going viral on Threads:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Breaking via Threads:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Just landed via WeChat:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Just shared via Twitch:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

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