Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Trending via YouTube:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Spotted on X:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Just landed via Twitch:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Spotted on Discord:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Trending via TikTok:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Making waves on WeChat:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of hitting 40! A time when you not only gain wisdom but also acquire bonus features like that extra chin. It's nature's way of saying, 'Congratulations, you've leveled up to the next age category!'"

, , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

51 shares on X this month:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

65 shares on X this month:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Breaking via X:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Making waves on Facebook:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Trending via Instagram:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Just landed via Reddit:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Trending via Telegram:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴