Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical age where guacamole becomes a legitimate reason for celebration 🥑🎉 Who needs fancy parties when you've got ripe avocados, am I right? Welcome to the thrilling world of adulting in your 40s!"

40s, adulthood, aging, avocado, excited, excitement, food, humor, lifestyle, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

0

3 months ago

2007, age, born, email, emails, humor, i, intern, millennial, office, older, technology, unread, unread email, year
I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

0

2 months ago

art, hang, humor, lie, painting, relationship, sex, straight, tell
Tell your dog I said woof woof.

0

2 months ago

animal, communication, dog, humor, i, joke, pet, tell, woof
Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

0

2 months ago

bill, doctor, email, emails, finance, good, humor, joke, love, me, medical, outstanding, outstanding bill, pay, payment, sarcasm
Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

0

2 months ago

family, humor, kids, never, parenting, phrases, say, sister, things, thought, unexpected, unexpected phrases, vacuum
I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

0

2 months ago

advice, best, buy, ever, give, harmonica, humor, i, learning, lot, music, never, over, someone, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on X this month:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

57 shares on Slack this month:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

41 shares on Discord this month:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

82 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Making waves on Threads:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Just shared via Telegram:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨