Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Making waves on WeChat:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Spotted on Messenger:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Making waves on Telegram:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Live now on Pinterest:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Freshly posted on X:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watch out, folks! We’ve got a fluffy shark on the loose! 🐱🦈 Don't be fooled by those innocent eyes, this kitty means business when it comes to food! Keep your snacks close and your fingers closer! 😹"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

97 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Just landed via TikTok:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Going bananas on Threads:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Just landed via Facebook:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴