Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.
  • I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.
  • A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.
  • Never eat more than you can lift.
  • I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.
  • The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.