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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

2 hours ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Going viral on Reddit:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Live now on Slack:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Trending via YouTube:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Going viral on Instagram:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Going viral on Reddit:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

6 months ago

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the hero we never knew we needed! 🦸‍♂️ Whoever gifted us with the "skip intro" button truly understood the human struggle of impatience when binge-watching a series. They deserve a standing ovation 👏 and a big thank you card! 🙌 On behalf of humanity, we salute you, oh skip intro genius! 🌟📺

button, convenience, humans, humor, intro, inventor, skip, skip intro, technology, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

2 hours ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Live now on Twitch:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Just shared via TikTok:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Breaking via Telegram:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

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