LEEDS—In a remarkable display of inner tranquility, local meditation guru Paul Hamill revealed his secret to serenity: blind rage inside his mind. “I might look calm,” he confessed, “but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.” Hamill’s novel approach to peace has earned him a significant following of irritable disciples.
Describing Hamill’s classes, longtime student Janet O’Malley said, “It’s incredibly therapeutic. Every namaste is accompanied by a mental haymaker. I’ve never felt more centered.” As they progress, attendees learn advanced techniques, such as guided elbow-strikes and mindfulness roundhouse-kicks, against imaginary foes.
Guru Hamill insists the path to enlightenment is paved with suppressed fury. “Unlock the calm underneath the chaos,” he advised while nonchalantly clenching his fists. “You just have to envision a world where you’ve already won the fight, both externally calm and internally victorious.” The mindfulness community is eagerly awaiting his next seminar, intriguingly titled ‘Inner War, Outer Peace.’