50+ Funny Daily Routine Jokes That Make Every Day Entertaining

New funny daily routine jokes

• WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

• The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

• You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

• I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

• Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

• Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

• Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

• Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

• Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

• Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Top funny daily routine jokes

• Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

• I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

• I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

• I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

• The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

• I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

• You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

• Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

• Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

• The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Popular funny daily routine jokes

• Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

• Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

• I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

• This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

• 11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

• At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

• The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

• I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

• My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

• The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

More funny daily routine jokes

• Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

• Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

• Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

• An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

• Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

• Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

• The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

• Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

• “You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

• The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Witty daily routine jokes

• A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

• Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

• At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

• Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

• Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

• The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

• Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

• My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

• Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

• I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.