50+ Funny Memory Jokes to Laugh About Forgetting Everything

New funny memory jokes

• I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

• If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

• Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

• Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

• Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

• The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

• I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

• I remember sex. That was cool.

• Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

• When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Top funny memory jokes

• If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

• Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

• At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

• Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

• “Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

• One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

• Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

• I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

• When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

• This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Popular funny memory jokes

• I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

• I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

• It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

• One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

• How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

• Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

• Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

• Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

• I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

• How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

More funny memory jokes

• Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

• I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

• Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

• I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

• My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

• I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

• Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

• I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

• If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

• Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Witty memory jokes

• My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

• The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

• The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

• Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

• All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

• No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

• If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

• You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

• I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

• When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.