Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew time could be so stingy during the week? 🤷‍♂️ It's like those two hours are in a rush to disappear faster than a cookie jar around a hungry toddler! ⏰😂"

evening, hours, humor, perception, relativity, short, short time, time, two hours, weeknight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

4 days ago

dislike, fitness, humor, irony, lose, loss, lost, motivation, people, someone, weight
l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

5 days ago

Christmas, Christmas tree, dead, holiday, humor, identify, identity, inside, irony, lit, outside, tree
That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

3 days ago

break, cancel, canceled, free, free time, gift, gods, humor, meeting, ping, relief, surprise, time, unexpected
I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

3 days ago

around, bear, casual, eat, eating, friends, hang, hanging, hanging out, humor, i, just, pantsless, pooh, Pooh Bear, relaxed, want
Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

3 days ago

cream, hearing, humor, ice, ice cream, imagination, imagine, music, night, sound, surprise, truck, unexpected
Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

2 weeks ago

call, distance, exercise, fardio, humor, long distance, pun, running, wordplay

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Twitch this month:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

12 shares on YouTube this month:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

95 shares on Discord this month:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

19 shares on Discord this month:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Trending via YouTube:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Just landed via Discord:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Spreading quickly via X:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Keep the laugh going 😂

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨