Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew time could be so stingy during the week? 🤷‍♂️ It's like those two hours are in a rush to disappear faster than a cookie jar around a hungry toddler! ⏰😂"

evening, hours, humor, perception, relativity, short, short time, time, two hours, weeknight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

2 months ago

academic, article, claims, cool, ever, found, humor, irony, joke, perfectly, research, scholarly, sex, topic
It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

2 months ago

Caesar, caesar salad, cooking, eat, food, food humor, funny food, humor, joke, salad, stab, times
Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

2 months ago

attention, attention span, comedy, confusion, distraction, forgetfulness, humor, i, span, wait, wit
Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

2 months ago

annoyance, blue, humor, i, listen, loud, music, neighbors, noise, playful, red, rhyme, rock, rock music, roses, too, violets
Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

2 months ago

annoyance, car, humor, marry, mirror, relationship, seat, size
The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

2 months ago

comedy, envelopes, finance, humor, IRS, needs, paperwork, special, ta, trouble

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Discord this month:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Just landed via Threads:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Spotted on Pinterest:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Making waves on Facebook:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Shared recently on Slack:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨