Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew time could be so stingy during the week? 🤷‍♂️ It's like those two hours are in a rush to disappear faster than a cookie jar around a hungry toddler! ⏰😂"

evening, hours, humor, perception, relativity, short, short time, time, two hours, weeknight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

0

2 months ago

apple, daily, eating, fiber, health, humor, intake, joke, sticker
I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

0

2 months ago

cinema, days, days off, desire, entertainment, feast, five, fun, high, i, laptop, relaxation, return, row, too, where, work
The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

0

4 months ago

anything, budget, diet, eating, finance, humor, joke, lack, lifestyle, money, poverty
This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

0

2 months ago

before, frustration, humor, Monday, never, repetition, weekday, workday
People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

0

2 months ago

assume, assumption, bold, confidence, enough, even, happening, humor, night, people, routine, shower, tomorrow
Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

0

2 months ago

chalanting, definitely, dislike, else, flirting, girl, humor, nonchalant, rejection, relationship, somewhere

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on X this month:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

37 shares on X this month:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Making waves on Twitch:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Going viral on Twitch:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨