The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

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Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

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If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

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Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

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What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

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I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

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One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

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Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

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It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

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Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

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A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.