Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

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I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

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A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

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The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

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What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

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The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

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A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

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Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

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My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

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“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

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The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?