Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Just shared via Slack:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Broadcasted on X:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Spotted on Slack:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Trending via X:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Trending via Snapchat:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Trending via Snapchat:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

0
How did we decide to go with cockpit?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it was either "cockpit" or "bird's-eye seat" 🤷‍♂️ I guess the idea of being perched up high like a cool pilot won out over the alternative of feeling like a confused pigeon 🐦✈️ Sometimes, all it takes is a good old-fashioned game of "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe" to make these monumental decisions!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on YouTube this month:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

14 shares on X this month:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

67 shares on Discord this month:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,258

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Going viral on Reddit:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Trending via Snapchat:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Trending via WeChat:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Just landed via X:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Going bananas on Slack:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Spotted on Discord:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

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