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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Making waves on Reddit:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The void screams into me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Shared recently on Threads:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Just shared via TikTok:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

2 weeks ago

Clever humorous text pondering a funny decision, with a playful tone about choosing a cockpit.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it was either "cockpit" or "bird's-eye seat" 🤷‍♂️ I guess the idea of being perched up high like a cool pilot won out over the alternative of feeling like a confused pigeon 🐦✈️ Sometimes, all it takes is a good old-fashioned game of "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe" to make these monumental decisions!

aviation, choices, cockpit, context, decide, decision, humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on TikTok this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

65 shares on Threads this month:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I told ChatGPT about us.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,388

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Making waves on X:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Just shared via X:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Spotted on Reddit:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Spotted on Messenger:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

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