Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Just landed via Instagram:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Live now on Instagram:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Trending via Twitch:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Just shared via Instagram:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Trending via TikTok:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

3 weeks ago

Clever humorous text pondering a funny decision, with a playful tone about choosing a cockpit.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it was either "cockpit" or "bird's-eye seat" 🤷‍♂️ I guess the idea of being perched up high like a cool pilot won out over the alternative of feeling like a confused pigeon 🐦✈️ Sometimes, all it takes is a good old-fashioned game of "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe" to make these monumental decisions!

aviation, choices, cockpit, context, decide, decision, humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

56 shares on X this month:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Making waves on Reddit:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Making waves on Reddit:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Just landed via Messenger:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

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