Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Some people seem to defy all odds by successfully navigating life with minimal brain function 🧠🤪 Here's to the walking reminders that stupidity knows no bounds! 🙃😜"

brain, brain failure, comedy, death, failure, humor, irony, lead, life, living, people, proof

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

3 weeks ago

apology, awkward, awkward moment, clothes, flirting, funny phrase, humor, i, line, moment, phrase, pickup, pickup line, said, sexy, sexy time, sorry, still, time, want
Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

6 days ago

cold, fan, food, food preference, frozen, frozen pizza, humor, joke, opinion, pizza, preference, too
They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

3 weeks ago

childhood, food, humor, just, memory, milkshake, nostalgia, put, used, yard
Shopping is the only exercise I need.

1 week ago

activity, exercise, fun, fun activity, humor, i, leisure, need, shopping
If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

1 week ago

alien, basketball, E.T., ET, found, humor, i, jump, jump shot, shot, sports
Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

3 weeks ago

bad, bad screen, fatigue, good, good screen, home, looking, screen, screen fatigue, tired, wait

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WeChat this month:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

28 shares on TikTok this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Just landed via Facebook:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Shared recently on Slack:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨