50+ Funny Think Quotes That Expose The Weird Stuff On Our Minds

New funny think quotes

• I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

• Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

• if you think i’m rude, you should hear the lil voice in my head.

• I think God was high when he made me.

• Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

• Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

• Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

• Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

• People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

• If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Top funny think quotes

• Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

• I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

• Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

• I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

• A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

• I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

• I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

• I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

• I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

• I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Popular funny think quotes

• Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

• The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

• If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

• I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

• I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

• Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

• I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

• Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

• I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

• Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

More funny think quotes

• I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

• Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

• Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

• I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

• Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

• Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

• Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

• My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

• “Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

• I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Witty think quotes

• I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

• I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

• Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

• I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

• For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

• Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

• I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

• No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

• You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

• He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Funny think quotes remind us that our thoughts aren’t always as deep or logical as we pretend 🧠. From spiraling over nothing 🌪️ to having random “aha” moments in the shower 🚿, thinking can be a hilarious adventure all by itself 😂. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever caught themselves laughing at their own weird brain 🧩. So embrace the overthinking, enjoy the random thoughts, and keep laughing at the strange things we all think about 🤣!