50+ Funny Surprise Quotes That Prove Life Loves Unexpected Plot Twists

New funny surprise quotes

• Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

• The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

• Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

• ‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

• The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

• Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

• Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

• The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

• Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

• I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Top funny surprise quotes

• The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

• A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

• Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

• The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

• I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

• I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

• Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

• If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

• Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

• You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Popular funny surprise quotes

• We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

• Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

• Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

• She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

• Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

• One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

• Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

• That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

• The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

• If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

More funny surprise quotes

• Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

• When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

• Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

• Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

• I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

• When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

• I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

• I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

• I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

• The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Witty surprise quotes

• My last straw is way longer than I thought.

• I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

• Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

• Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

• I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

• Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

• If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

• What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

• I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

• Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Funny surprise quotes remind us that life’s best (and worst) moments usually come out of nowhere 😂. Whether it’s surprise gifts 🎁, surprise visitors 🚪, or surprise problems you definitely didn’t schedule 🙃, the unexpected keeps things interesting 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s learned to laugh their way through life’s many surprises. So expect the unexpected, roll with the randomness, and enjoy the hilarious surprises life keeps serving up 🤪!