Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.