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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,341

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Seen just now on Threads:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Just shared via Reddit:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Spotted on Reddit:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Shared recently on Slack:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Making waves on Slack:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Live now on LinkedIn:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about morning car wake-up, highlighting playful shock at loud music start.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the morning surprise concert featuring the one-hit wonder of your playlist! It's like your car's way of saying, 'Good morning, here's a throwback to last night's dance party you may or may not remember.' Time to start the day with a bang, whether you're ready for it or not!"

car, humor, last, morning, music, night, person, relatable, transformation, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Slack this month:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish I had a friend like me.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

75 shares on TikTok this month:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

76 shares on Slack this month:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Spotted on Twitch:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Just landed via Slack:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Trending via Discord:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Just shared via Threads:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Making waves on Facebook:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Spotted on Discord:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

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