Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.