Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Commentary:
"Listening to people's life stories is like watching a boring movie when you've got the Oscar-worthy version playing in your head 😅🎥 #MyLifeBeLike #StoryTimeShowdown"
5 months ago
Share →: Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Commentary:
"Your fashion faux pas is as uneven as your hoodie strings! Get it together, fashion police are on patrol! 🚨🧥👮‍♂️ #FashionFail"
5 months ago
Share →: My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days when our biggest achievement was a full night's sleep! 😴💤 Definitely a cherished memory that we all took for granted as kids. Now we're just chasing that elusive 'rested' feeling like it's a mythical creature! 🦄😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Commentary:
"Why finish one thought when there's a whole buffet of exciting new thoughts waiting to be served in your brain? 🧠🍽️ Who has time for completion when you can be the king or queen of unfinished sentences? 👑💭"
5 months ago
Share →: Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Commentary:
🤫 Shhh, quick! Freeze! Monday is approaching! If we stay perfectly still, maybe we can trick Monday into thinking we're just a part of the furniture and escape its clutches! 😄 Let's blend in with the office decor and hope for the best! 🪑🕰️ #StealthyMondayAvoidance
5 months ago
Share →: The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Commentary:
Looks like their team building strategy was to build relationships with the help of some liquid courage! 🥂 Who needs trust falls and trust exercises when you can bond over a few drinks instead? 😄 #HappyHourTeamBuilding
5 months ago
Share →: Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Commentary:
🕷️ Just picturing a bunch of eight-legged creatures scurrying off with giggles… Maybe we wouldn't be so scared of them! Can you imagine the joyful chaos if spiders decided to sprinkle a bit of laughter in their escape tactics? It would definitely add a comedic twist to our arachnophobia adventures! 😄
5 months ago
Share →: “It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Commentary:
"Who needs drugs when you have a good book high? 📚💊 Just remember, reading may cause a permanent addiction to imagination and knowledge! 😄 #BookwormLife"
5 months ago
Share →: My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Commentary:
🍻 “Hear ye, hear ye! It’s time for the official unveiling of the ‘Tipsy Furnishing’ concept! Where meatballs and merriment meet flat-pack furniture – because who doesn’t want their Gjörfbunkle to come with a side of brewski wisdom? Cheers to the genius who knew the true path to assemble-y bliss!” 🛋️🍺
5 months ago
Share →: Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Commentary:
Interviewer: "What did you learn from your previous job?"
Me: "That I need a new job."

🤣 Looks like the previous job was a crash course in job hunting! 🏹 Good thing this candidate is quick on their feet! #JobHuntingChampion