Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Seen just now on TikTok:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Spotted on Slack:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Spotted on Threads:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Making waves on YouTube:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Trending via Pinterest:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

1 week ago

Playful quote about comfort food and instant happiness with a humorous twist.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical healing powers of peanut butter straight from the jar 🥄✨ Who needs a doctor when peanut butter is your cure-all?! Just spoon it out and watch your worries melt away. Peanut butter to the rescue! 🥜🦸‍♂️ #PeanutButterHealsAll #SpoonfulOfJoy"

butter, comfort, comfort food, fix, food, humor, jar, me, peanut, peanut butter, snack, spoonful

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being awake is the worst.

70 shares on Threads this month:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

20 shares on Discord this month:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

20 shares on X this month:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Live now on Messenger:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Just shared via Telegram:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Trending via Messenger:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Trending via Threads:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Live now on WhatsApp:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Just landed via YouTube:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

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