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Commentary:
"Looks like the bacon-to-person ratio is a little skewed here 🥓👩👩👩👩 Who knew bacon could multiply you like that? Time to invite some friends over for a crispy and delicious bacon feast! 🥓🎉👯‍♂️"

bacon, cooking, food, humor, i, just, meal, people, portion

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

0

5 months ago

cooking, food, humor, i, kitchen, needs, smoothie, spoon
Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

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2 months ago

absurdity, astronaut, chimpanzee, greet, horse, horses, just, landing, should, space
“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

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5 months ago

communication, divine, divine plan, feedback, God, humor, little, ok, open, plan, sarcasm
Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

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2 months ago

age, aging, another, chin, humor, loneliness, lonely, looks, middle, middle age, self-deprecation, welcome
Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

0

2 months ago

attitude, confidence, date, dating, fashion, flirtation, humor, i, joke, man, men, nonchalant, underwear, why
I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

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2 months ago

dating, humor, issue, life, politics, relationship, single, single life, voter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

50 shares on X this month:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

60 shares on WeChat this month:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Seen just now on X:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Just shared via WeChat:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Live now on Instagram:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Making waves on Facebook:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Making waves on Messenger:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨