Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.
  • Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.
  • I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
  • Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.
  • Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.
  • The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.